EnVogue
Giving Him Something He Can Feel

Bush Fans

There’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a bush fan.” The teacher says, “Why aren’t you a bush fan?” Johnny says, “I’m an Al Gore fan”

The teacher asks why he’s an Al Gore fan. The boy says, “Well, my mom’s an Al Gore fan and my dad’s an Al Gore fan, so I’m an Al Gore fan!”

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, “What if you’re mom was a moron and you’re dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” Johnny says, “That would make me a Bush fan.”

RESUME OF GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington , DC 20520

Education And Experience:

Law Enforcement - I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost” and is not available.

Military - I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College - I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

Past Work Experience - I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as Governor of Texas - I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes.

Accomplishments As President - I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of
the US stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any Administration in U.S. history. My “poorest millionaire,” Condoleezza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. “prisoners of war” detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families.in wartime.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,” a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice.

Records And References

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

I am a member of the Republican Party.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MID-TERM ELECTIONS.

Girl ran anti-Bush page on MySpace

The latest Sacramento resident to be questioned by federal agents in possible threats against President Bush is a 14-year-old girl with a heart on her backpack and braces on her teeth, a freckle-nosed adolescent who is passionate about liberal politics and cute movie stars.

Her name is Julia Wilson, and she learned a vivid civics lesson Wednesday when two Secret Service agents pulled her out of biology class at McClatchy High School to ask about comments and images she posted on MySpace.

Beneath the words “Kill Bush,” Julia posted a cartoonish photo-collage of a knife stabbing the hand of the president. It was one of a few images Julia said she used to decorate an anti-Bush Web page she moderated on MySpace, the social networking Web site that is hugely popular among teenagers…

…Here is how Julia Wilson’s family tells their story:

Two Secret Service agents arrived at their Land Park home about 2:30 Wednesday afternoon, Kirstie Wilson said. They told her they wanted to speak with her daughter about threats to the president that she had posted on MySpace.

“She was in molecular biology, and I said I really didn’t want to take her out of class for this,” Kirstie Wilson said. “I said I’d make sure she came right home from school.”

She asked the agents to come back in an hour, and they left.

Then Wilson sent her daughter a text message instructing her to come straight home from school.

“… there are two men from the secret service that want to talk with you. Apparently you made some death threats against president bush. Dont worry youre not going to jail or anything like that but they take these things very seriously these days,” Kirstie Wilson wrote.

“Are you serious!?!? omg. Am I in a lot of trouble”? her daughter replied, using common teenage shorthand for “Oh, my God.”

Kirstie Wilson called her husband. While they were on the phone, she received another text message from her daughter: “They took me out of class.”

It was a 15- to 20-minute interview, Julia said. Agents asked her about her father’s job, her e-mail address, and her Social Security number. They asked about the MySpace page she had created last year as an eighth-grader at Sutter Middle School.

“I told them I just really don’t agree with Bush’s politics,” Julia said Thursday. “I don’t have any plans of harming Bush in any way. I’m very peaceful; I just don’t like Bush.”

Secret Service questions teen about anti-war drawings

Secret Service agents questioned a high school student about anti-war drawings he did for an art class, one of which depicted President Bush’s head on a stick.

Another pencil-and-ink drawing portrayed Bush as a devil launching a missile, with a caption reading “End the war - on terrorism.”

The 15-year-old boy’s art teacher at Prosser High School turned the drawings over to school administrators, who notified police, who called the Secret Service.

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By Ben Winslow and Jennifer Toomer-Cook
Deseret Morning News

More than a dozen teachers and public school employees will spend part of their UEA weekend in a classroom - learning how to use a gun.
Clark Aposhian is offering a free class today to public school employees seeking to get their concealed-weapons permit.
“It is self-defense,” he told the Deseret Morning News on Thursday. “But because teachers and school administrators and custodians are typically surrounded by students all day, any threat to any individual with a firearm would also be a threat to those students.”
The concealed-weapons instructor’s offer was met with opposition from some teachers and union representatives at the Utah Education Association’s conference in Salt Lake City…

…”Teachers are always complaining that they don’t get support from the community,” he [Aposhian] said. “Here we are.”
School districts have long grappled with the guns-on-campus issue. Federal law bans weapons - real or fake - from school property. But Utah law now makes clear schools can’t prevent people with concealed-weapons permits from carrying firearms on campuses. Granite School District’s policy, for example, allows permit holders to keep their gun “readily accessible for immediate use,” but bans teachers from leaving their weapons in a desk drawer or coat closet.

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I just want to take a minute to pimp for our friend FranktheLiberal. Please visit his website, and give a listen to his radio show, which airs on Fridays from noon to 1pm on KLAY. (Pacific time). Scroll down on his website, and there’s a link to the show. He’s a great commenter here at the Blue Herald. We appreciate the effort and time he puts into his show! Now go…….and check him out!

“I am, you know, amazed that this is a society which so wants to be free that they are willing to…you know, that there’s a level of violence that they will tolerate.”
GWB

Israel Ramps Up Gaza Offensive; 4 Dead

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) — Israel stepped up its offensive in the Gaza Strip on Friday, killing at least four people in a series of attacks throughout the coastal area.

The fighting brought the death toll in the offensive to 13 Palestinians, including a young girl, since Thursday.

The army has been carrying out an offensive throughout Gaza since June, when militants linked to the ruling Hamas militant group tunneled into Israel and captured an Israeli soldier. The soldier remains in captivity.

After a recent lull, the fighting has picked up in recent days. Israel TV said the operation in Gaza Friday was the largest there in weeks.

An Israeli aircraft attacked a car in the northern Gaza Strip, killing three Hamas militants, including a local commander, the group said. Witnesses said the force of the blast ripped the white sedan into two parts. The army confirmed it had carried out the strike.

In the southern Gaza Strip, Palestinian hospital officials said Israeli troops shot a 29-year-old woman outside her house in the village of Abassan.

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Nine die in air strikes on Gaza

A day of Israeli air strikes on the Gaza Strip has left nine people dead, including at least four Hamas militants and two children, reports say.
A missile hit a Hamas official’s house after nightfall, but the target survived and two adults and a girl aged 10 died, Palestinian sources said.

Earlier, a boy aged 14, four militants and another person died in an Israeli air attack in southern Gaza.

Israel confirmed both attacks, saying it had been targeting militants.

There have been frequent raids on the Gaza Strip since an Israeli soldier was kidnapped in June by Palestinian gunmen.

More than 200 Palestinians have been killed.

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SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) — The U.S. Southern Command has been told to investigate alleged abuse by guards at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, stemming from an Oct. 6 complaint by a Marine officer, the Pentagon’s Inspector General’s office said Friday.

Marine Lt. Col. Colby Vokey, who represents a detainee at the Guantanamo Bay prison, filed the ”hot line” complaint to the Inspector Generalis office on Oct. 6.

In it, he attached a sworn statement from a Marine sergeant who works for him. The sergeant reported she listened as guards at Guantanamo Bay bragged about beating detainees and described it as a common practice.

The Marine, a paralegal who was at the U.S. Navy station in Cuba last month, alleges that several guards she talked to at the base club said they routinely hit detainees.

”From the whole conversation, I understood that striking detainees was a common practice,” the sergeant wrote. ”Everyone in the group laughed at the others’ stories of beating detainees.”

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