Darrell Hammond gives a preview of Rich Little’s “uncontroversial” speech at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

H/T Youtuber Newstandardnews

For those of you who missed it……he he

Buffalo Springfield
There’s Something Happening Here

I’d comment but then the government goons would be at my door…..

WASHINGTON –Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stayed away from the Capitol Tuesday night in case of a catastrophic attack or accident as President Bush delivered his sixth State of the Union address.

By long’standing tradition, a member of the president’s Cabinet misses the speech to Congress as a precaution against the entire administration’s being wiped out and to maintain the presidential line of succession. Last year, Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson did not attend.

The State of the Union address typically draws most members of both congressional houses and other top government officials, including Vice President Dick Cheney, who is also the president of the Senate.

I’m Senator Jim Webb, from Virginia, where this year we will celebrate the 400th anniversary of the settlement of Jamestown ­ an event that marked the first step in the long journey that has made us the greatest and most prosperous nation on earth.

It would not be possible in this short amount of time to actually rebut the President’s message, nor would it be useful. Let me simply say that we in the Democratic Party hope that this administration is serious about improving education and healthcare for all Americans, and addressing such domestic priorities as restoring the vitality of New Orleans.

Further, this is the seventh time the President has mentioned energy independence in his state of the union message, but for the first time this exchange is taking place in a Congress led by the Democratic Party. We are looking for affirmative solutions that will strengthen our nation by freeing us from our dependence on foreign oil, and spurring a wave of entrepreneurial growth in the form of alternate energy programs. We look forward to working with the President and his party to bring about these changes.

There are two areas where our respective parties have largely stood in contradiction, and I want to take a few minutes to address them tonight. The first relates to how we see the health of our economy ­ how we measure it, and how we ensure that its benefits are properly shared among all Americans. The second regards our foreign policy ­ how we might bring the war in Iraq to a proper conclusion that will also allow us to continue to fight the war against international terrorism, and to address other strategic concerns that our country faces around the world.

Full transcript here

It’s a love fest…….

Education: We must help the needy children (sell every school district my bro Neal’s program)

Healthcare: blah blah blah benefit from lower tax bills. Level the playing field for people who don’t have health insurance. Changing the tax code is a vital step to making health care available. Protect shitty doctors with medical liability reform. I haven’t worked this out yet, but somehow it will end up with the rich getting the tax breaks and the poor getting fucked.
(alot of clapping)

Borders: Double size of border patrol. New infrastructure. Temporary worker program. No amnesty. Debate. Pass. Sign.

Energy: Too dependent on foreign oil. (duh) Diversify supply. Technology. Electric power. Clean coal. Solar energy. Plug in hybrid vehicles. Biodiesel fuel. We must we must we must. Wood chips. Alot of progress. Reduce gasoline usage by 20% in next 10 years. Step up domestic oil supply. Double current capacity of current strategic oil reserves.

Justice: Insure federal courts have enough judges. Give nominees a fair hearing. (you know, the hand picked ones that will replace the judges we fired for no apparent reason)

Terror: Critical protections to protect the homeland. Terror terror. Debate essential. To win the war on terror we must take the fight to the enemy. (excuse me, have to puke now)
Every success against a terrorist blah blah blah 9/11 blah blah blah America still a nation at war. ( uh huh war war war)

More terror terror terror…… malignant ideologies….free societies in the middle east. For the sake of our own security we must build free democracies in the middle east. Two years desire of liberty in the Middle East. blah blah blah democratic legislature in Afghanistan, Iraq elected government blah blah blah the enemy ( no word of the civil war) enemy enemy enemy Hezbollah XXvictory

Iraq: new strategy security ally on war on terror. Iraqi’s not ready to do this on their own. Deploying more u.s. troops. blah blah blah U.S. embedded with Iraqi troops (God help them) Find the terrorists and clear them out. (no talk of civil war) Tough talk about what Iraq needs to do. Benchmarks. Oil revenues. Rebuilding of Iraq. blah blah blah blah America must not fail in Iraq ( ahhhhh didn’t we already fail?) X Nightmare scenario for America. New terrorist recruits (check) Spare the American people from this danger. (gotta go throw up again) Support our troops. New advisory council for the war on terror ( we already got several, why get a new one?) Authorize our army increase by 92,000 in next 5 years. Hire civilians for critical skills abroad (more money for Haliburton) X

X equals the word Iran

I’m done…just going to count the number of times he uses the I word from here on out.

Haloscan is messed up!!!!

CNN VIDEO: Prior to the State of the Union Speech, Rep Charles Rangel says the Health Care plan expected to be proposed by President Bush is dangerous. He adds that the Guest Worker plan looks more like slavery to Rangel than anything else. Both topics have huge holes in them being thought out fully.

(H/T JoeWo for this post)

Bout time…..

State Farm Fire & Casualty Co. agreed Tuesday to settle hundreds of lawsuits by policyholders and reopen thousands of other disputed claims, a deal potentially worth hundreds of millions of homeowners devastated by Hurricane Katrina, a company spokesman said.

State Farm spokesman Phil Supple said the company will reopen and review claims for policyholders on Mississippi’s Gulf Coast whose claims were denied but haven-t sued the company.

That part of the settlement could be worth hundreds of millions of dollars for roughly 35,000 policyholders, a person with direct knowledge of the settlement said.

“The agreement greatly reduces the time, the risk and the expense of defending multiple claims in individual litigation,” Supple said.

State Farm’s agreement with Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood and lawyers for more than 600 policyholders resolves a civil lawsuit that Hood filed against the company for refusing to cover damage from Katrina’s storm surge nearly 17 months ago.

The accord also resolves Hood’s criminal probe of allegations that the Bloomington, Ill.-based insurer fraudulently denied claims after the August 2005 storm.

“I hope that this settlement with State Farm will encourage other insurers to join the settlement, so that we can get a quick flow of capital into our coastal counties at this critical time,” Hood said in a statement.

Read more at MSNBC

MIAMI, FLORIDA — Prosecutors on Monday asked the judge in the Jose Padilla terrorism’support case to punish a defense attorney who leaked transcripts of Padilla’s intercepted phone conversations, saying the leak violated a court order and could jeopardize selection of an impartial jury.

The transcripts were part of a Jan. 4 New York Times story that raised questions about the strength of the case against Padilla.

U.S. District Judge Marcia Cooke scheduled a hearing Wednesday on the issue.

Padilla, a 36-year-old U.S. citizen and former Chicago gang member, is charged with being part of a North American cell that provided cash, supplies and recruits to Islamic extremists.

A spokeswoman for the Times declined to comment. None of the four defense lawyers responded to e-mail messages seeking comment about the latest government claims.

Source: Chicago Tribune

BAGHDAD, Iraq - A helicopter owned by the private security firm Blackwater USA crashed Tuesday in central Baghdad, and five civilians were killed, a U.S. military official said. A senior Iraqi defense official said the aircraft was shot down over a predominantly Sunni neighborhood.

The Iraqi official, who would not allow use of his name because the information had not been made public, said a gunman with a PKC machine gun downed the small helicopter of a private security firm Tuesday afternoon over the heavily Sunni Fadhil neighborhood in north-central Baghdad, where witnesses reported clashes between insurgents and U.S. and Iraqi forces.

There were casualties, the official said, but would give no details.

ALSO:
The deaths of three more U.S. troops also were announced, including a Marine who killed Sunday south of Baghdad, raising the weekend death toll to 28 as American casualties mount ahead of a U.S.-Iraqi security push to try to secure the capital and on the eve of President Bush’s State of the Union address.

Two U.S. soldiers were killed Monday, the military said - one in fighting in Anbar province west of the capital and another in a roadside bombing.

Read more at MSNBC