By Laura Sessions Stepp
Washington Post Staff Writer

If you’re wondering what it takes to be a man these days, check out Johnny Depp’s wrist.

As the unconstrained Capt. Jack Sparrow in the newly released “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” he wears a wisp of white lace tied just above his left hand.

A token of his feminine side? Perhaps. Or maybe it’s just what Depp said it is: a trophy piece from a young woman.

Swish or swagger? That’s the choice that men — particularly young men — find themselves facing today. As author Calvin Sandborn — who juggled teaching and child-raising as he wrote “Becoming the Kind Father” — says, society used to assign certain characteristics to men, including power, aggressiveness, professional success and autonomy. Other, shall we say, swishier traits were expected of women, such as the ability to create and nurture connections, kindness and communication.

Of course, you could always find some crossover. But while catching up with or surpassing men at school and at their first jobs, young women have dumped much of the feminine to embrace the masculine traits that they think represent success.

This has left some young men wondering what it means these days to be a guy. Should they, can they, explore their softer sides in a country that places less value on the feminine than ever before?

The answer to that seems like a bold Yes when you look at young men — straight as well as gay — who feel strong. They bend the gender role freely, especially if their buds are doing the same.

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