by Will Durst
cross posted at Buzz Flash

Karl Rove, Bush’s brain, quit last week. And no, he hasn’t been replaced, so yes, you could say the cavity remains empty. To put it another way: Voldermort has left the building. Darth Vader took off his helmet. Proof positive that Satan had more than just a passing acquaintance with the Pillsbury Doughboy has exited stage right. This sudden shift of malodorous winds has caused liberals to shiver in separation anxiety knowing they’re going to have to look elsewhere to assuage their demon jones, as they no longer have the pale pudgy strategist as target for their limp verbal projectiles.

Mr. Rove made his teary announcement at a joint press conference held on the South Lawn of the White House alongside the tenant whom he thrust into residency of that property with all the elegance and subtlety of an armor plated freight train run off its tracks into a Third World flea market. The 43rd President of the U.S. visibly choked up saying “so long” to the man he affectionately called “Turd Blossom,” as his alter ego was pried away from him for the first time in 14 years.

Rove scoffed at reporters’ questions about future subpoenas in the federal prosecutor firings investigation leading to his abrupt retirement, referring to the inquiry as “pure politics.” And coming from the high grand master of pure politics, this should be considered the ultimate compliment. Then the man with the power to cloud men’s minds shuffled off to Nowheresville City in what he labeled a desire to spend more time lying to his family.

But the furniture in his White House office had yet to be decontaminated when his family apparently grew tired of his company kicking him out to spend the bulk of his new free time on various television news shows tossing fistfuls of scathing barbs at potential Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, whom he described as “fatally flawed” but meant “colder than a witch’s catcher’s mitt hidden under a crate of four pound rump roasts in the rear of a walk-in freezer.”

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