There’s so much naughty going on we’re having trouble getting to the nice. Topping the naughty list this year:

George W. Bush: For, among a myriad of things, his veto of the SCHIP bill not once, but twice. I guess George really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the needy little children. I’d advise Santa to stay away from George’s house at all costs.

Dick Cheney: For being the dick that he is. The most recent “incident” reported was involving Cheney, Santa and a gun.

Alberto Gonzales: I don’t recall why he’s on the naughty list, but I’m sure Santa will.

First Baptist Church of Fort Lauderdale: For putting on a $1.3 million Christmas pageant. You could have fed alot of poor, homeless people this holiday season with that 1.3 mill! I guess they’ve forgotten the reason for the season!

Alaska: That’s right. Santa needs to skip the whole state. Why? Because they voted in some of the most corrupt Republicans in the U.S. congress and the state congress. You get no damn presents this year.

Connecticut: Right again. The whole damn state. Joe Liebermann….nuff said.

Michael Chertoff: For being the most incompetent of men. If Santa does decide to give him a gift, it should not be doled out without first making him submit to a lie detector test, a body cavity search, a scan of his iris, listening into his phone calls and reading his emails to double check for naughtiness and then sending him through a super duper x-ray machine.

Barack Obama: He’s related to Dick Cheney. Nuff said.

Royal Dry Cleaners in New Jersey: For losing Santa’s suit and then refusing to reimburse him for the full cost of it.

CIGNA: For the death of Nataline Sarkisyan. I’m sure this is just one case we HEARD about. I wonder how many people die at their hands each year…..and so does Santa.

The Bush Administration: For the treasonous act of outting CIA agent Valerie Plame.

The Republican Minority: For being the most filibustering, obstructionist minority EVER.

The Democratic Majority: For being a bunch of whining, lying, cave-in pussies.

Anyone who has anything to do with the mistreatment of our wounded soldiers: For not giving them the care and attention they so richly deserve.

The DOD: For demanding wounded soldiers give back sign on bonuses.

Rush Limbaugh: For being the fatass lying sack of crap that he is. Namely, his smearing of Michael J. Fox and the Frost family.

Bill O’Reilly: For all the bullshit that streams out of his piehole.

Senators Feinstein and Schumer: For backing a guy who can’t bring himself to say waterboarding is torture.

Toe-tapping Larry Craig: To this day, he’s still not gay.

Main Stream Media (MSM): Because over-reporting here and
under-reporting there makes Santa cry.

Nancy Pelosi: Taking impeachment off the table was NOT her call to make.

Right-wing pundits (Rush, Hannity, Coulter, Malkin, etc.): Santa plans
on leaving them a lump (not of coal, but a lump to the head)

Right-wing Christians:

For aligning themselves with a party that only cares about children BEFORE they’re even classified a ‘child’.

For aligning themselves with a party that thrives on war. (you know, where lots and lots of God’s children are slaughtered).

For aligning themselves with a party that is hate-filled and bigoted. “Love thy neighbor” and “turn the other cheek” are concepts
strange and unknown to these people).

For doing their damnedest to undercut one of the basic tenants of the Constitution - separation of church and state.

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