Why did the chicken cross the road? A little Saturday humor…….

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But
then, this really isn’t about me…….

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the
road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of
the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before
adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a
part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he
can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken’s
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see
it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not
been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain
truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes
with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as
simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went
on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part
of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will
never cra…#@&&^(C% ……..reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.