My heart is so heavy, my eyes are raw. In an instant, the love of my life was taken from me Friday night. The man who made it through a terribly abusive childhood, the man who made it through VietNam, this strong, loving man was taken when he was crossing the street to come home. He was almost here. Almost. My whole world, in an instant, has been turned upside down. I’ve lost my best friend, my life partner, my rock. I’ve always known life is fragile…. but it’s never hit home like this before. Wandering the house in a fog. I got in our bed because I wanted to smell you. But you washed the sheets so they would be nice and fresh when I got home Friday from being away all week. Damn it I wish you hadn’t done that. All I can smell is the Downey. No trace of you. Funny the emotions one goes through…hour to hour. Grief is a selfish emotion. One that I can’t control right now. If I can just make it through the next hour, then I’ll work on making it through the hour after that, and the hour after that…unil maybe it will be day to day…. then month to month. And when I come out of the fog, I hope to be a better woman. I want to be kinder to every single human being I come in contact with. Because in the end, I believe that’s all that matters. IF I have any effect on any other human’s life, let it be a positive one. But for now……. let me just get through the next hour, and then the next.. I love you so Gerry, and life will never be the same.